I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh god the rape fog is back!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
