he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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