I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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