Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
