We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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