3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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