How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
