dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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