Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
