How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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