It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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