I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
