How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
