apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
