Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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