Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
