are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
