hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
