I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
