i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
