Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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