as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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