No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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