She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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