My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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