You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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