hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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