I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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