I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize