I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
