He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
