yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
