Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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