just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
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It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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