yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
