my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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