sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.