I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.