I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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