ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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