..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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