Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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