I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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