Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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