We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
