just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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