Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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