just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
how do flat chested girls get laid?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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