Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
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as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
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It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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