You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
