He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I can't turn off my feet"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
