I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
