Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize