sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bet he comes in French.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
