I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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