is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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