I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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