Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
