you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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