Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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