My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
