Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
