if i can run in heels then i can drive
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
